How to Let Someone Go Well
How you handle the worst conversation in your company says more about your leadership than any hire you have made.
Key takeaways
- Finalize the decision, the date, and the severance terms before the conversation – never negotiate whether it is happening in the room.
- Keep the meeting short and direct; do not soften the opening into something that invites debate.
- Follow up in writing immediately with the practical details – most people remember little from the conversation itself.
- A reasonable severance floor is one to two weeks of pay per year of tenure, adjusted honestly to what the company can afford.
- Tell the team something true and brief, then let the silence go – do not turn the departure into gossip fuel.
There is no version of letting someone go that feels good, and founders who look for one usually end up delaying the decision past the point it should have happened, or handling it so awkwardly that it does more damage than it needed to. The goal isn't to make it painless – it's to make it clear, fast, and fair.
Decide before you talk to them
The conversation should never be the moment you are figuring out whether this is the right call. By the time you sit down, the decision needs to be final – including the exact date, the severance and benefits terms, and what you'll say to the rest of the team. A conversation that leaves room for negotiation about whether it's happening at all is worse for everyone than a hard, settled one.
- Confirm the decision with a co-founder, advisor, or HR resource before the conversation – not as a formality, but as a real check
- Have the severance offer, final pay date, and benefits details finalized and in writing before you walk in
- If it is for performance, make sure there is a documented history the person would recognize – no one should hear the real reason for the first time in this meeting
In the room
Keep it short – ten to fifteen minutes, not a negotiation or a debate. Say clearly and early that the decision is final and irreversible; softening the opening ("this is really hard for me too...") often reads as an invitation to argue, which helps no one. State the reason in one or two plain sentences, cover the practical terms, and let them react. Most people remember almost nothing after the first sentence, so the practical details – last day, pay, benefits, references – should also go to them in writing right after.
- Be direct: "We have decided to end your role, effective [date]."
- State the reason briefly and honestly – vague reasons invite worse assumptions
- Cover severance, final pay, benefits continuation, and equipment return
- Offer to be a reference if you mean it, and be specific about what you would say
What you owe them afterward
A reasonable floor, absent a specific policy or contract, is treating them the way you'd want to be treated if you resigned – roughly the same notice period, at minimum. For severance specifically, one to two weeks of pay per year of tenure is a common baseline outside of executive roles, though what a young company can actually afford varies a lot, and being honest about that constraint is better than overpromising and reneging. Whatever you decide, put it in writing, and don't make someone chase you for a reference or a final paycheck.
The rest of your team is watching how this goes, even though they'll never say so directly. They are not asking whether you made the right call – they're asking whether they would be treated fairly if it were them.
Tell the rest of the team something true and brief, without turning the departed person into a cautionary tale. "Their role ended today, and we wish them well" is enough. Speculation fills the silence you leave, so don't leave much of one.